


Farce of the Heart

by Labyrinth_Runner



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28418457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Labyrinth_Runner/pseuds/Labyrinth_Runner
Summary: When you and Anakin Skywalker are sent on an undercover mission as lovers to Corellia, you find that perhaps there is more to your performance than just pretending.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	Farce of the Heart

“The two of you will be sent to Corellia,” Mace Windu said without room for argument.

“Spy on the locals, you shall. Learn about the secret ship trading, you must,” Master Yoda said gravely. 

You cast a glimpse towards the Jedi Knight beside you. “If we are to spy, we cannot be seen as Jedi, I’m assuming.”

“No, you are not,” Mace replied, folding his arms. 

“Undercover, you shall go. The cover story, up to you it is. Find the information, you must. Details, we need not ask for,” Master Yoda said.

The Council stared at you in silence for a moment.

“I know this goes without saying, but your mission is secret. Tell no one,” Mace said in a serious tone.

“Yes, Masters,” you replied, bowing politely before excusing yourself from the room along with your new partner. 

You studied him as you exited the room, remembering how close you had been as padawans, having drifted since the war started and put you on different paths. That didn’t mean you hadn’t kept up with the man’s lucrative career. He was a Holonet star in his own right by now, a fact that was not lost on you.

“How are we going to go about this, Master Skywalker?” you asked, turning a keen eye on him.

He seemed to wither under your scrutiny for a moment before regaining his bravado, “You mean our cover stories?”

“We could be siblings,” you proffered.

“Or lovers,” he said with a sly smirk. “We could be on Corellia for our honeymoon.”

“It isn’t a very romantic destination,” you replied. “Pirates and thugs everywhere.”

“Romance can happen under any conditions,” he replied as he got to the transport that the Council had prepared for you. 

“Very well,” you sighed, but you couldn’t help the slight tinge of blush on your cheeks.

The two of you made your way up into the craft, settling in to pilot it. In order to remove suspicion, you were to make a series of jumps instead of flying straight from Coruscant. While in hyperspace, you found civilian clothes and changed. It felt strange to be out of your robes. They were as much a part of you as your lightsaber in a way, an outward expression of your devotion to the order. Looking in the mirror, you turned this way and that trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness you felt.

“You don’t look as bad as you think you do,” Anakin said.

You jumped at the sound of his voice, turning to see him leaning against the doorway behind you. “That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t always wear the robes.”

“No, but I find that the robes sometimes strip us of our individuality,” he replied, coming over to stand behind you. Gently he turned you back towards the mirror, resting a hand on your shoulders, “It downplays beauty and handsomeness in order to safeguard against pride. There is nothing wrong with the way you look.”

Meeting his eyes in the mirror, the moment felt charged. His hands on your bare shoulders were hot, making you wish for the layers of your robes to protect you from the intimacy of it all. “How long before we land?”

“We’ll be dropping out of hyperspace soon,” he replied, dropping his hands from your shoulders. “From there it’ll just be a short while until we touch down in the capital.”

You nodded, “Aren’t I lucky to have a husband who is such a good pilot.”

A playful smirk flitted across his face at your teasing. “Listen, angel, your husband is not _just_ good. He’s the _best_.”

“A change of clothes for you could never hide your pride,” you shot back with a chuckle.

Anakin shrugged, the smile dropping from his face at your remark as he thought about how many times he’d been chastised by Obi-Wan for saying such things, “Many have tried.”

You watched as he walked out of the room, taking one last look at yourself in the mirror before joining him just as the ship dropped out of hyperspace.

The space in front of the planet was cluttered with ships.

“It’s almost as if they have a battle of their own,” you murmured as Anakin guided the craft through shipping lanes.

“It’s one of the busier ports in the galaxy. The fact that it’s also responsible for building a lot of ships probably doesn’t help the clutter,” he explained as he took the ship into the atmosphere.

You’d never been to Corellia before, and therefore didn’t know what to expect. It was as if there were a little bit of everywhere in the galaxy on one planet, visually. Having spent most of your time on Coruscant while you were growing up, it still felt odd to see cities that sprawled _out_ instead of _up_.

As if it were almost second nature to him, Anakin gracefully landed the ship in a busy space port.

“Are you sure its safe to leave the ship here?” you asked as you glanced around at some seedy people eyeing up your ship.

“Well, unless you have a better idea,” he shot back as he got out of his chair.

A grimace settled on your face. “Just.... lock the ship up after we leave.”

Anakin rolled his eyes as the two of you left the ship and went towards town.

Your senses were overwhelmed when you stepped out onto the busy street. There were so many sights, smells, and sounds, not to mention people bustling and jostling you every which way. Anakin reached out to take your hand when the crowd started to separate the two of you.

“Stay close,” he said. “I don’t want to have to go looking for you.”

“R-right,” you stammered as you felt how warm and safe his hand felt around yours. “We should find lodgings.”

Anakin nodded and started to tug you down the street towards an inn. You were lucky enough that they had one room left. As you settled in for a meal, the two of you listened closely to the discussions around you.

“The group in the corner,” you murmured.

“What about them?” Anakin asked, tilting his eating utensil slightly to see the group in the silver.

“They’re pirates, talking about smuggling crafts. I heard them when I passed by earlier to use the refresher,” you murmured. “They also mentioned a race. It’s a front. The Hutt who sponsors the race takes possession of the winner. The fastest racer is then given a new ship and told to fly to a neighboring planet for a race that never happens. The pirates intercept the ship and sell it on the black market and the racers are never heard from again. The Hutt tells the people that they left Corellia to race in better places and were killed in a racing accident.”

Anakin’s eyes squinted as he studied them, “How often does this happen?”

“Once a year,” you replied, taking a sip of your soup. “If they did it any more often, they’d get suspicious.”

“And I’m assuming the ship the winner receives is whatever the latest model is from the shops,” Anakin murmured darkly.

“With the newest technology,” you replied. “Presumably it’s then sold to rival manufacturers who take the secrets and make their own versions. The Hutt is then sold the new ships at a cheaper price than what the Corellians would have charged, as well as given a bit of a bonus as a thank you for doing business.”

“Intellectual property theft isn’t exactly a crime we concern ourselves with,” he said thoughtfully.

“It is when the ships are currently being sold to the Separatists,” you shot back.

“When’s the race?” Anakin asked in amusement.

“Tomorrow,” you replied. “Why?”

“That should be enough time,” he said with a nod, getting up from the table.

“Enough time for what?” you asked incredulously.

He gave you a smile and a wink before leaving you alone at the table.

You sighed, “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

After gulping down the rest of your soup, you rushed back to the room the two of you were sharing and gave your report to the council.

“Very good,” Mace said. “See if you can find out more information about this year’s model, that way we can hope to figure out what new advances the Separatists will have. Then come home.”

“Yes, Master,” you said, bowing as the call disconnected.

The early morning rays streamed in through the window. You’d missed your opportunity to sleep, and Anakin was still missing. You sat on the only bed in the room as you contemplated how you would go about finding that new information when Anakin returned.

“Why are you covered in grease?” you asked as he headed towards the refresher.

“I was working on a ship,” he shrugged.

“There’s nothing wrong with our ship,” you said, getting up to follow him.

“I said _a_ ship, not _our_ ship,” he replied as he started to strip in front of you. 

You turned to the side to give him some privacy, your cheeks getting hot. “Anakin, what are you doing?”

“I can’t race without a ship,” he said as he stepped into the steamy column. “I can’t use ours in case it gets damaged.”

“You’re not racing, period,” you replied.

“I already paid the entrance fee,” he replied.

Your mouth fell open. “You can’t be serious.”

“I can win,” he shot back.

“That isn’t the point!” you replied with a groan before slamming the door shut and returning to your room. 

Your feet were insistent as they paced back and forth along the room waiting for him to come back out. When he finally emerged, you were all roiled up.

“Anakin, you cannot race. I forbid it!” you said finally.

His eyes narrowed at you, “Oh, you forbid it? Well, then I guess I’ll just stay here!”

You scoffed. “It’s dangerous, not to mention it’s not part of the mission. You don’t have to do this.”

“It’s racing, of course I have to! I’ll be fine. I’m doing this,” he said, pointing at you, “and you... you’re not my actual spouse. You don’t get to decide this. ”

“Of course I’m not your actual spouse,” you shot back, “Like this farce of a relationship could actually work out in the real world. You’re too impulsive and you don’t think about any of the consequences of your actions. Or who you hurt.”

“I don’t care what you think,” Anakin looked as though you had stricken him. “The race is in an hour. I don’t expect you to come, and I don’t need you to,” he mumbled before walking past you and out the door. 

As the door closed behind him, your knees gave out and you sat on the bed. That burst of outrage was so unlike you, and in truth, you weren’t actually angry. You were worried. You held your head in your hands, unsure why you were so worried. Anakin was a great pilot. He was more than capable of handling himself, and yet you didn’t want him to race. Was it because it went against your mission’s directive? Or was it out of concern for his safety? Or... perhaps... you wondered softly, if it was something much deeper.

What you did know was that you couldn’t just sit in this room and not know what was happening. With a sigh, you went to the races. At the very least, perhaps you’d find out more about this new ship while you were there. 

The crowd was charged as they waited for the race to begin. You scanned the line of racers to find Anakin, eventually catching sight of him towards the middle of the pack. Taking a steadying breath, you let yourself fade into the background. You were just an innocent bystander. Nothing to see, but unbeknownst to all, listening to everything. 

Anakin tightened his hands on the controls, feeling a bit of anger bubble in his chest. At the root of it all, though, was hurt. Hurt that the one person who’s opinion mattered the most didn’t support him, didn’t believe in him. He looked out towards the crowd, hopelessly looking for you. When he found you hidden between some Wookies, a smile came to his face.

_They came_ , he thought. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned his attention back to the race. The track wasn’t large, at least, not by Tatooine’s standards, but it was still formidable. He flexed his fingers as he waited for the countdown, connecting with his machine like he used to with his pod racer. The lights flashed as engines revved before finally, it was showtime.

_Now this is pod racing_ , he thought as he shot out from the starting line. 

You heard the people around you talking about the new ships, having entrenched yourself in a group of shipbuilders if their uniforms were to be believed. Soon enough, you knew everything you needed for the council. Turning your attention back to the race, you saw Anakin weaving dangerously in and out of the crowd of racers. 

It was as if your feet moved on their own accord, running towards the boundary until you pressed flush against it, your eyes tracking every movement he made. Your hands tightened on the rail in anticipation when one racer cut him off and sent him into a tail spin.

Anakin quickly recovered, muttering Huttese under his breath as he course-corrected. His eyes found you and saw your nervous face. He sighed, feeling guilty at how upset he made you. He wanted to be the hero, the winner, to prove he could do it. But... he also knew what was more important: _you_. He didn’t have to prove anything to these people about his flying skills. He had to prove to you that he didn’t mean what he said earlier. He _did_ care what you thought. So, he did something that shocked you. He threw the race.

As he pulled into the finish line, you hopped the barricade and ran towards him. Your arms encircled him and held him close. He crushed you back. 

“You’re an idiot!” you said as tears of relief stung your eyes.

Anakin let his shoulders relax as he held you close. “I’m sorry.”

“I got the information we need,” you sniffed. “Let’s just go back and get some rest. Neither of us got any sleep last night.”

He slowly released you and followed you back to the inn. 

You kicked off your shoes next to your bag and disarmed yourself before getting into bed as he walked towards the bathroom to freshen up.

Slipping into the sheets, you buried yourself under the blankets hoping to find a false sense of security, or at least a rationalization for your feelings. When Anakin had almost gotten hurt earlier, it felt as though your heart had dropped into your stomach. You should unpack that, but you couldn’t. Not right now, at least. Instead, your mind drifted to all the late nights the two of you shared as younglings, talking about your hopes and dreams. You remembered talking about what kind of Jedi you wanted to be. With a wistful sigh, you realized it was nothing like the Jedi the two of you had actually become.

The bed shifted softly behind you as a warm body slipped into it.

“Credit for your thoughts?” he murmured.

“How’d you know I was still awake?” you asked.

“I could feel your uncertainty from across the room. Anyone feeling like that isn’t sleeping,” he replied, propping up on his elbow and turning towards you.

You turned back, pleasantly shocked to find yourself staring at his bare chest. “You’re not wearing a shirt.”

“I get hot when I sleep,” he shrugged.

You swallowed and nodded, trying to settle your gaze anywhere but on the set of abs in front of you. “Do you ever think about what we wanted to be when we were younger and how we turned out?”

Anakin’s brow furrowed, “I was a slave and I dreamed of seeing the galaxy. I got my wish.”

“Not that young,” you said with a slight smile, reaching outs to smooth his brow. “Remember when we were padawans and we talked about what we wanted to do?”

“I remember you talking about how badly you wanted to work in the library with Master Nu and me calling you boring for not wanting a life of adventure,” he teased.

“Well, I doubt I’ll ever cease having adventures at this point,” you sighed.

“War changes a person,” he said solemnly.

“I don’t know if I’d ever be content to hide in the library again,” you admitted, “Not when I know everything that’s out there. All the pain... _cruelty_... things we should be working towards getting rid of.”

“You can’t save the galaxy,” he said sadly. “Sometimes you can’t even save one person.”

“Never hurts to try,” you replied, laying back down on your back.

He looked at you then, dragged his eyes down your face. Gently, he reached over to caress your cheek. “Is that what was keeping you up?”

You leaned into his touch, shutting your eyes. “No.” Keeping them closed, you murmured, “You’ve turned out to be remarkable.”

“I’ll try not to let it go to my head,” he teased.

Your eyes opened, “I’m serious. I always admired you when we were younger. You were, _are_ -” you corrected- “fearless. You were never afraid of doing what you wanted. I wish I had that same instinct.”

Anakin swallowed, looking down at the space between the two of you. “If you could do what you wanted, what would you do?”

Your eyes trailed his naked chest before making their way up to his face. You took in the slight stubble from the long day he had had. Then, your fingers reached up to touch. He looked up at you through his lashes, blue eyes like the endless sky that made you feel like you were soaring within them, falling up into the heavens. Gently, you traced your forefinger down the pink flesh of a scar long healed. He sucked in a breath as you let the hand trail down his face. Your thumb settled in the divot of his chin as the rest of your fingers reached up to settle on his cheek. Feeling bold, you let your thumb slide up to run across his bottom lip as your eyes settled on them.

“If I were fearless,” you said, softly, barely above a whisper, “I would kiss you.”

Hesitantly, you brought your eyes up to meet his to find his searing gaze holding you in place. There was a torment behind his eyes as you dangled a forbidden possibility in front of him. Your heart clenched at having done this to him, having burdened him with the knowledge of your affections. It wasn’t your fault that you felt this way, and it certainly wasn’t his.

“Good night, Ani,” you murmured before letting your hand fall from his face and turning away from him.

“No,” he said shakily, sliding his arm around you to turn you back towards him.

“N-no?” you stammered in confusion.

“You don’t get to just say that and then turn away as if nothing has happened,” he said, feeling impassioned. “You can’t tell me how you feel, _touch me as tenderly as you have_ , and then give me a cold shoulder to calm your own conscience. _Not_...”he trailed off, licking his lips, “not without giving me the chance to respond.”

You felt frozen in place, fearful of the rejection you were sure would be coming. The chosen one, Anakin Skywalker, surely could never want someone like you, could he? His victories inspired hope. He was the face of the Republic while Master Kenobi was the face of the Order. You were a nobody in comparison.

“I used to always be so tired when we were younger,” he explained, “but, I was also homesick, too homesick to sleep. I always felt so far behind all the other padawans because I hadn’t grown up in the Order, going so far as to train every night. Yet, everyone always treated me like I was above them, like I was untouchable because of _what_ I was, not who I was. Everyone except you. Do you remember when we first met?”

“You were going through the basic lightsaber forms and I told you that your footwork was wrong,” you replied.

“And then you taught me the actual way to do things,” he replied. “You trained with me when no one else would approach me. You were one of my first friends.”

_Friends_. Your heart sank into a sadness of knowing that this was how it should be, and that you were foolish to get your hopes up.

“And then we drifted and I realized how much I missed you,” he added. “More than I’ve ever missed a friend. I’d see you across the Temple when were both there and I couldn’t meet your eyes because I knew I’d lose myself in them. You always think you can just slip into the background and hide from even yourself, but you don’t with me. You are all I can think about when life gets dark. You’re my light. When I think a battle is hopeless, I remember that I’d rather have you read about my victory instead of reading my name on the list of those who have fallen.”

You swallowed, turning your head away to hide the emotion in your eyes.

He reached out with the metal hand he so despised and tenderly turned you back to him. “Thoughts of you consume.”

In that moment, you came to the realization that the star that was Anakin Skywalker not only burned ever so brightly as to illuminate the entire galaxy, but that he burned for _you_. 

Your mouth went dry. 

“I’m not a hero without fear,” he admitted, “I have so many fears, but my biggest fear is losing you.”

Your eyes softened as you reached up to cup his cheek, “You’ll never lose me, Ani.”

He leaned into your touch, slowly closing his eyes to savor the moment, “But... I’m not afraid to do this,” he said before pulling you close. His lips pressed firmly to yours and you felt like your bodies were in tune with each other. You molded yourself into him, feeling the force flow freely between the two of you. All were connected through the force, but this rivaled anything you’d ever felt before. Electricity danced over your skin as his touch sent sparks down your spine. Your hands explored the flat planes of his chest, as his hands slipped up your arms, just as warm as earlier. His heat enveloped you as you lost yourself in him until you didn’t know where Anakin ended and you began. In the back of your mind, you knew that this wasn’t something you should be doing. This wasn’t the type of Jedi you should be, but it was the type of Jedi you had become. 

_War changes people._

The thought echoed in your head.

War reminds us what’s really important. War shows us what we are afraid to lose. War shows us how far from our ideals we’re willing to fall in order to win.

War shows us where love can be found, because the opposite of war is not peace. 

The opposite of war is creation. 

The opposite of war is love.

The trip back to the Temple was easy. Living with the knowledge of what had transpired on Corellia was not.

As you walked down the ramp, his hand brushed yours, barely holding it. The Council would be waiting for you in the tower spire looming above you. You’d debrief and then you’d be sent on your separate ways.

A small smile settled on your face as Anakin beamed like a god of the sun. His warmth radiated through you and you knew.

Physical difference wouldn’t alter the emotional closeness you’d found on Corellia. You would always be with each other.


End file.
